I should be sleeping, but I’m waiting on Mister Luke to get hungry again so I can feed him then drift peacefully off to sleep (or at least that is the hope). My mind is all over the place right now and my heart heavy with joy. I have to admit that the majority of this pregnancy I was adamant that this would be our last. Pregnancy and I don’t mix too well and as much guilt as I feel for it, I simply don’t love being pregnant. However, the outcome is so worth it - and I’d do it all over again to have my precious boys. I look at Danny, all 37 lbs of him - full of life, dirt in his fingernails, and remnants of breakfast on his face… he is just SO big! He is my sweetheart, gives more hugs & kisses than I can count in a day, tells me I am his “whole wide world” and his “very best friend”. I am blessed to have him. Luke, so brand new - yet he fits right into our family and I can not imagine life without him in it. I am so afraid of Luke getting beyond this fragile and perfect little stage. He is going to go through so many changes in the coming weeks and months and although I know that is just what happens, I can’t help but think… what if this is it, what if this is the last baby we bring home? Am I savoring these moments enough, am I capturing the simple things of life through photography, am I making the most of this time? There are so many tiny things that I feel I walked right past, or without knowing breezed through with Danny. He was my first and I was both sleep deprived and scared to death of all the unknowns. This time I don’t want to be so anxious for the next stage. Sure I’d love to get more sleep, but ultimately - if I could stay awake and take all of this in I would. It has been a week now since Luke came into our lives and the four of us have had a great week so far, getting into the groove of things. What a change it is bringing a little someone into the house, and I am so happy with how well Danny has adjusted. He is just in love with his little brother, and I’m so looking forward to seeing Luke return the hugs and kisses his big brother so lovingly gives him. What was the point of this? Just a sappy, hormonal, emotional mama - needing desperately to put a voice to all this going through my head. Ok, time to wake the squirmy one… I’m tired 
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